01 - Captured Dreams Page 14

  “This all happened on the same morning that you lied to me, tricked my groom, jumped from a moving carriage, and distracted me in my meeting with Admiral Middleton. Oh yes, I could see you making a fool out of Jack and climbing trees in the garden. A very productive morning, indeed,.”

  “You are being quite disagreeable.” When he opened his mouth to object, she waved a hand and shook her head. “I admit I did all those things, and I apologize for using you and your groom to attain my goals. But I asked for your cooperation, and you did not give it. So I used the only option that was left to me.”

  “You steered the course that you are most familiar with. You take first, apologize later, and give no thought to the effect of your actions on others.”

  “But that is not at all fair.” She shook her head. Her tone became soft. “Considering the magnitude of everything that has happened, and how significant the meeting was not only for me but for my mother, too, you must agree that all my blunders were done for a good cause. After all, no harm was done.”

  “You can hardly be the judge of that,” Pierce retorted. “Miss Edwards, I am not certain you have any concept of what is right or wrong. You have no grasp on correct way to ask for a gentleman’s help. And you have the dangerous habit of using everyone, friend or stranger, who crosses your path. And you seem to have no regard for how damaging your actions might be to them.”

  “I might have done you a disservice, Mr. Pennington, but ‘tis hardly fair to say I use everyone.”

  “This position at Admiral Middleton’s that you are so excited about. Did you not use Captain Turner to secure it?” he asked accusingly. “Did you not use your friend, the daughter of James Turner, to introduce you to the captain and later manipulate them so that you might attend the ball? What about Parson Higgins and his wife?”

  “That is enough.” There was a slight tremble in her voice. She was wringing her hands before her, but she managed to keep her head high and hold the tears at bay. “You have made your point, sir.”

  “Have I?”

  “You have successfully made me realize how horrible and selfish I am.” Her chin quivered a little. “Now, if you are finished, I would ask you to leave me, so that I can reflect on the flaws you have so eloquently described.”

  It would have been best to walk away, but Pierce found he couldn’t. Too many strings already attached them—some business and a few personal. She looked genuinely upset, and this was more than he had intended.

  Unfortunately, he had let his temper take charge. Equally unfortunately, right now there was nothing he would like better than to pull her into his arms and soothe some of the hurt his words had caused.

  Portia might have a few flaws, but who didn’t. He was making her carry the burden of someone else’s, as well. Why couldn’t he push through the misty presence of Emma’s ghost and see only the woman who stood before him.

  “So you start at your new position in two days time,” he said in a gentler tone.

  She blinked once, as if checking to make sure she was speaking with the same man. A couple of tears escaped and slid down her smooth cheeks.

  “You do not intend to spoil that opportunity for me, are you?”

  “No.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered. She stood aside, giving him a path to the door.

  He walked toward her. “How do you plan to go back and forth to the North End?”

  She stared downward at the space between them. “I shall walk, as most people do in this town.”

  “And on the days when the weather is not agreeable?”

  “I shall not melt in any rain, Mr. Pennington.”

  “No doubt Captain Turner will be eager to provide you with a ride at every opportunity.”

  Her dark eyes showed surprise and hurt when they looked up. “That would be my least preference. But you should not concern yourself with that, sir. I am perfectly capable of managing my own life.”

  “You mean, from now on.”

  “From now on,” she agreed.

  “And you need nothing more from me.”

  Portia’s face flushed and she looked down. “I do not, Mr. Pennington. And I apologize again for any imposition, any awkward situation that I afflicted you with. I am also sorry for making you hide behind that silly curtain.”

  Pierce lifted her chin until he could look into her beautiful eyes. “So is this our final farewell? You never wish to see me again?”

  “I believe that is your wish,” she replied in a quiet voice. “‘Tis definitely not mine.”

  He wiped the dampness from her cheek with his thumb. “Does that mean you would like to see me again?”

  “I believe this is pointless.” Her blush turned deeper, and she looked away. “It seems our time together is always marred by arguments and unexpected visitors.”

  “We could both try to do better regarding our disagreements, and I could certainly arrange it so that we would have no interruption.”

  Pierce leaned down and tasted the saltiness of the tears on her face. She was soft and hesitant, but her lips opened up beneath his when he pulled her into his arms. This was perhaps the strongest string that attached them. Plain and simple, he was drawn to her physically. Something told him that until he made love to her, thereby taking some of the mystery of his attraction, her mere nearness would continue to plague him. Nathaniel’s advice last night came back to him as his hands roamed over her back, pressing her soft curves against his body.

  “I shall send Jack to fetch you tomorrow night at dusk,” he whispered, kissing the soft skin beneath her earlobe. “We can have dinner at my house on Purchase Street.”

  She flattened her hands against his chest and looked up with uncertainty. “I shouldn’t think that is such a good idea. I have enough complications in my life as ‘tis, and—”

  “Dinner, with no interruptions, and I promise to remain civil. You can tell me about your plans for sharing with Miss Middleton the mysteries of French poetry.”

  “This is the very thing that Mary warned me about. She suggested that any plans you have for me could mean my ruin.”

  He captured her hands and placed a kiss on each palm. “How is what I want any different than what you want?”

  She seemed to struggle in finding an answer. Pierce kissed her upturned lips with enough heat that when he pulled back, she was unsteady on her feet.

  “There shall be no ruin of anyone, Portia. Until tomorrow.”

  Reluctantly, he let go of her and walked out.

  ****

  William Higgins was proud of his reputation as a reliable man. He knew many men of the cloth who hid behind the contemplative life they had chosen, shirking the responsibilities of the worldly life. He was never one of those. William stood by his promises despite the difficult circumstances that life presented. He shouldered his responsibilities and never forgot those who relied on him. He was proud of the fact that he had always remained true to his convictions, regardless of the passage of years.

  That was why he had been struggling with the situation he found himself in since his wife had told him of Portia leaving their household yesterday morning.

  After nearly a dozen years of marriage, he understood perfectly his wife’s sometimes unbending temperament. At the same time, he knew Portia well enough to know that the young woman was capable of pushing Mary beyond reasonable action. What he regretted was that neither of the women had sought his advice or given him the opportunity to serve as a peacemaker in their dispute. Now, at the end of the second day, and with no sign of remorse from either party, William could no longer stay out of it. He had his responsibilities, after all.

  He lifted his gaze from the Psalm that he had been looking at uncomprehendingly for the past quarter hour. Mary’s blonde head was bent over her needlework. Like himself, his wife had been exceptionally quiet this evening.

  “I am told that the children saw Portia at Wind Mill Point today.”

  “Indeed.” Mary continued to poke at the
stretched fabric on her lap. “Clara informed me when they returned that she took them there to say their farewells. I had to lecture her severely for not telling me before they left. I also instructed her never to take Walter and Ann anywhere that there is possibility they might accidentally encounter Portia.”

  “Might that not be going a bit too far, my love?” He closed the Bible on his lap. “Portia is no criminal. She carries only the deepest affection in her heart for our children.”

  Her head came up. “Portia has made her decision, William. I believe ‘tis only right that she suffer the consequences of it.”

  “So you consider this a punishment.”

  “I certainly hope she considers it punishment.”

  “But must our children be punished, too? You know as well as I that they are the ones who are suffering.” William paused for a moment. “Ann and Walter were both quite eager to tell me about their visit with Portia. I should tell you they both pleaded with me to intercede on their behalf. They begged me to speak to you about permitting them to make future calls on her.”

  “That decision has already been made. And I must say, if Clara had not taken them today, no one in this family would be suffering now. In fact, we would not even be having this discussion.”

  “I believe we would,” he announced in a tone that he hoped was still reasonable. “We cannot wish that young woman out of our lives after eight years. We cannot pretend that she never existed.”

  Mary once again turned her attention to the needlepoint on her lap.

  “But there is something else. Putting the affection that our family has for her aside, we are still responsible for her.” He laid the Bible on the table beside him. “Have you forgotten the promise we gave to Lady Primrose? There were no months or years tied into it. We agreed that for as long as Portia wished, she would find a safe haven in our home.”

  “For as long as she wished,” Mary repeated bitterly. “The emphasis is on she. She. Well, I did not ask her to leave. I gave her a choice.”

  “A choice that she could not live with?”

  Temper rushed color onto her fair cheeks. “You make me sound like a heartless viper. If you recall, ‘twas you who suggested sending her to Nova Scotia. You wanted to get her clear of this silliness about her parentage more than I.”

  “I may have been hasty in that.” William leaned forward and placed a hand gently on his wife’s knee. “But perhaps you were, too, my love. A choice that denies one’s deepest hopes is not much of a choice. And you and I both know that an ultimatum has never had any affect on Portia. On the other hand, the voice of reason—when you chose to use it—and a common sense approach has always worked with her before. It might have worked is situation.”

  Mary shook her head stubbornly. “Portia had made up her mind. There was no coaxing her to do otherwise. I have never seen her more passionate and determined about anything as she is in this matter.”

  He sat back, thinking of how much influence the Tory families had in his parish. If Helena Middleton were to disappear, they would all be outraged on the Admiral’s behalf. William also thought of how much he was indebted to Lady Primrose. He recalled his promise. He remembered Ann and Walter’s earlier pleas.

  There would be other positions, he decided. Other parishes.

  “Then we are the ones who should reconsider our position,” he said finally. “Lady Primrose was the one who managed to find this parish for me in Boston. She even financed the expense of our move. Now, I cannot help but wonder if perhaps her ladyship knew that Admiral Middleton and his daughter were here. Perhaps what she had in mind all along was to bring Portia closer to her mother.”

  “You are imagining things. She never mentioned a word of this to us.”

  “She wouldn’t.” William pushed to his feet and went to the window. A company of soldiers marched by the end of the lane. “That good lady is a generous benefactor to a great many people, but she has always been one to keep her own counsel about her plans. Look at what she did for us after our disappointment in Bristol. She might have found us a church in England. Instead, she presented us with the opportunity of moving to Boston. She wanted us here. Perhaps Portia is the reason.”

  He turned back to his wife.

  “You think I have done wrong in putting her out,” Mary cried out defensively. “I only want to protect my family.”

  “Tis not a matter of doing wrong. You have done what you felt was right for all of us. But I believe we have a responsibility to her that we are bound by. I think ‘twould be best if we supported Portia in her pursuit and see what comes of it.”

  “What I have done cannot be undone.” Mary stuffed the needlepoint angrily into a basket on the floor. “There are more problems than you know. There is her behavior, her lack of decorum and propriety. I have already lost my trust in her. I will not allow an incident like…like—”

  “She is not your sister Ellie. Portia visited a gentleman without an escort once in daylight. But you must remember that we are in the colonies. The rules of propriety are different for women here. I have heard you say so yourself,” Higgins said solemnly. “But you must put what your sister did behind you, Mary. No one will make judgment on us here based on Ellie’s scandalous past. You must let go of what happened. We are in a new world here.”

  Mary rose to her feet and moved away from William when he approached.

  “Please, my love. Do not let that past divide our family. Let go of Ellie. Remember, instead, what a good friend Portia has been to all of us.”

  William watched his wife’s slender back. This had been the nature of their relationship for so many years. He couldn’t force her to be what she didn’t want to be. He couldn’t make her do anything that she didn’t want to do. Oddly, in so many ways the two of them were equals in their relationship, and William wanted it that way. He respected and trusted his wife, in addition to loving her, and knew that she felt the same. He had said his peace. Now it was up to her to act on it if she agreed with anything he had said.

  “Perhaps…perhaps I was more harsh with Portia than I should have been.” She finally turned around. The room was warm, but her hands ran up and down her arms. “The truth is that I panicked, William. I saw Portia at Mr. Pennington’s office, and all the horrible memories of what happened because of Ellie rushed back. I thought of what we had and how much we lost in Bristol. I worried about how much there is to lose here. I did not want to go through that again. I could not see you be robbed of yet another opportunity.”

  She sat down on a settee, staring into the empty hearth.

  “Portia went through all of that with us. She saw our disappointment. She was aware of the unhappiness the scandal brought on us and the children and even on your parishioners. This was why I could not see how she would do anything that might jeopardize our position again. I was furious with her for not understanding—for being so selfish.”

  William went and sat down next to his wife. He took her hand. “For so many years, we have asked Portia to think only of us. She has made our family the priority in her life. Now, for the first time, she is trying to think of her own future. She is also thinking of her mother, if what she believes turns out to be the truth. And we are asking her to turn her back on that. Is there not some selfishness in that, as well?”

  Mary let out a frustrated breath and leaned back in the settee. “I know I was not considering her. You would be shocked to know that I have been as upset about this situation as you and Ann and Walter.”

  “I know that, my love. I know Portia’s place in your heart has nothing to do with any promise.”

  “She has been my best friend—sometimes my only friend.” Tears beaded her long eyelashes when Mary turned to him. “You should also know that I have been keeping track of her for these past two days. She has taken a room in a respectable house. And starting in two days, she will serve as her mother’s companion, reading French to her, or some such thing. She is doing far better with her plans than she would ev
er have done if she were still living with us.”

  “You have pushed her to independence.”

  “And perhaps into danger. She is heading blindly down the path she’s chosen. She knows nothing of the complications or the consequences of the decisions she is making all by herself.”

  William placed his arm around Mary’s shoulder and gathered her against his side. “Now you are talking like a nervous mother.”

  “I know. I also heard she had two gentlemen calling on her today. This is more than she had during all the years that she could have entertained suitors.”

  “Surprising, considering that she is so ancient.” William hid a smile as she gave him a jab in the ribs. “So when are you going to visit with her and give her a lecture on accepting spinsterhood with dignity?”

  “I shall be giving her no more lectures. But do you think she would receive me?”

  “If you have set your mind to mending your fences, I do not believe she could stop you.”

  ****

  Pierce didn’t remember Nathaniel ever wanting to discuss business this late at night. He didn’t recall ever seeing his friend as provoked as he was now. He had arrived at Pierce’s house at half past ten with an armful of documents he’d carried up from the Thistle, their recent arrival that was now tied up the Long Wharf.

  “This just proves that my suspicion was correct.” Nathaniel announced as soon as they were inside Pierce’s study. “That cordial meeting with Middleton and Turner yesterday was arranged for the sole purpose of lowering our guard. They are now prodding into our business.”

  He dropped the ledger books and documents on the desk.

  “What exactly is going on?” Pierce moved behind the desk.

  “This afternoon, without waiting to receive our ship master’s report, a bloody revenue officer boarded the Thistle with two dozen soldiers.”